Ep14 | Why Do I Suppress My Blackness At Work? (Ft Jordan Harry)

When you're talking about blackness is subjective as well.

Everyone has their own definition of what blackness is for one You know the people that you're talking to to you know, the environment you're in and you know how to present yourself So it's not a case of saying well, I'm presenting myself as a black man or more It's I'm just presenting myself as the expert as a professional as someone that you can trust This is talking to my food Welcome to talking to my thoughts the podcast where we have open honest and raw conversations about the things that are playing on our minds My name is Simon aka SJ.

I'm a video creative. I'm a father and a business enthusiast My name is Craig also known as Mr. Positive. I am a cheesy motivator with a St. Lucian background Positive mindset and a passion for helping others find and maintain their peace Yes, and we are obviously thankful to be joined by a guest today if you introduce yourself Jordan Awesome.

So my name is John Harry and I transform the way people learn Because I'm a speed reading and memory coach aka the geek by accident And I'm excited to be here today to talk about why being different in my industry Has made me win.

So obviously in this podcast We bring a unique perspective on our inner thoughts by literally playing and pre recording the things that are on our minds Before talking about them amongst the group So we do this because we believe that before you can be open with others You first have to be open with yourself and obviously the topics in that can range from anything with love money Family work or emotions absolutely anything that would drive us to become the people that we are today So you already know that the possibilities are endless Make sure you guys stay up to date and follow us on all of our socials at talking to my thoughts.

So guys today the topic is black men at work and Do I need to suppress my blackness in order to succeed?

It's with so I tried to actually google this when I was looking at okay blackness and what is how is that defined Now when I looked on the internet said blackness is defined as the quality or state of being a black person Now Jordan when we when we start off the conversation We like to do a bit of a word association just to kind of open up the discussion straight away.

Now when you think about blackness In as few words as possible if you can what does that mean to you? for me it is I Would say Standing out Not always for the right reasons and that isn't always on ourselves I'll leave it as that and then we can explore that in a bit the standing out not always for the right reasons Cool Craig, what are your thoughts? For me, it means culture and personality.

That's my two main things Okay blackness to me, I guess I Guess it is the it's defined as a cultural resource. I'll definitely agree with you Craig is defined as a Culture because I in many ways you can think about okay people who act black But don't necessarily look black because they embrace the culture.

So I think that blackness for me is more of a cultural thing We'll see we'll see how that conversation goes a little bit further But so before we get into that we'll play a voice recording.

So I'll play my voice recording first We'll have a listen have some deep thought about it and then we'll jump into the conversation so as a black man Do I suppress my blackness at work and do I need to suppress my blackness in order to succeed? That's tricky.

I mean, obviously it can only be personalized to me and my thoughts But it can be controversial at the same time because you're considering for one What is the measurement of success? And for two what does blackness even mean? What is that? How do you define blackness is it culture like Is it mannerisms? Is it?

What is blackness and that's that's a deeper question trying to figure out what that is and what it means to you and for me is I would question whether I Suppress anything particularly at work. I always try and be myself in any circumstance, but at the same time with work you always have to reflect yourself in the best possible light and be as Professional as possible.

So I would say that I don't suppress anything, but I am conscious of How I reflect myself as a professional as an expert so that's not necessarily about Suppressing my blackness that's just not being as Forefront as I Normally would do amongst friends or family because it's a dick at the different circumstance and it's a different environment To succeed is difficult because I just in my head I question and I think to myself okay, well who who can I What kind of measurement or where can I come?

What can I compare it to that? Where do I see success in a way where someone a black entrepreneur someone a successful? Have they ever Reflected themselves in a way where I didn't think they was being fully black I don't know.

It's a weird question and it's definitely something to think about And I mean it's interesting because again if you think about it when you're at work and you're you're in a workplace and say for example, you're you're in a boardroom meeting you're suited and booted do you go there with your afro or your cane rows or I don't know dreadlocks and then do you I Don't know when when there's like an office party Do you suggest playing like reggae music or dancehall music or you know?

Soca music and when you're at lunch with your colleagues Do you always have your rice and peas and your jerk chicken or you know, do you have? It's I don't know.

I to be fair I wouldn't suppress that in any way for me is it's a part of me and I'll always try and reflect who I am it's about your character and as long as as long as this is not Done in a way, which is offensive Then I would question why you would want to suppress it Yeah, and that's just me I think that It's important to be yourself at all times and I'm quite fortunate because of The kind of industry and and the place that I work in is quite creative.

So I'm it's a little bit more accepting to to express yourself and Express yourself in any which way you can so I'm quite fortunate in that but it would be interesting to think about how I Would be whether if my circumstances in the workplace was different and how I would be perceived by other people would I then decide? Not to act a certain way or not to do certain things.

I'm not sure But to be successful I do think that you need to be yourself because people see through it So I think if it's if it's a case of Can we be successful? without Suppressing ourselves as black people. I think we can Yeah, I think we can Wait, I wish I went first and set the bar low Mr.

Charles Yeah There's a few things I picked up from there, which is so let me pick up some of the key parts to it to be honest With you. What does blackness and success even look like?

I can't actually I was thinking myself and I have not actually seen a company which is actually black owned and Run in a massive office structure in a sense because obviously for me I came from industry Which was based around finance and agency work And I've never seen an office or even any of the offices I've had to to go to which was actually run by black people So I can't even tell does it exist.

Is it something that is not that if it's possible if it's possible But does it actually exist and when it does exist would it look different or would it actually end up adopting the same office culture? We really have What about you Simon or that's something you picked up? Well a hundred percent. I definitely questioned that myself When you said that Craig when you was actually saying that okay.

I can't think of a business. That's black owned.

That's run as black culture It made me question Maybe that's why we What maybe that's why we tend to suppress ourselves because we don't see it reflected in the world Because we don't see a business or we don't see success on that scale Where someone can be the true selves and can be fully black and this is you know, like when you saw soul plane who saw soul plane Yeah But when you see something like that, okay, that's a black airline It's run in a black way that makes you think well Well, I don't need to do it the way I always see it because now I can see the way that it can be done as well there's another option out there and I think just because just When you said okay, there isn't anything you can think of that then makes me question.

Okay, maybe that's why We do potentially suppress our blackness because we think that that is the only way we can succeed because success We haven't seen that success in any other way.

I Mean, of course you dropped a lot of gems You know a lot of things that a lot of people will be able to relate to the one which I think only a small group of people will be able to relate to are the Business owners listening or aspiring business owners entrepreneurs as someone who runs his own business who has no rules Because we'll talk I can wear what I want. I can talk how I want I can Have whatever banter.

I like or culture. I like however as much as I am the boss, I also have a client and so I Would be lying if I said that in all my meetings in all my workshops That I was my unapologetic self We all have to be chameleons because you you're right.

You can't enter every social interaction the same way People by people and the fastest way to build relationships is by finding commonality So, you know whether that is the fact that black people people of color Do a simple head nod on the street. They don't have to know each other. Everyone knows the head nod, right? Because guess what? We already have something in common.

We were born with it But then it's a lot harder to build relationships with people Who aren't of color because we've got to start a conversation and we've got to explore hobbies common interest However, it's very easy like finds like when you find someone who's like you it's a lot easier to build that relationship faster and To kind of bring that all together what I found running my own business is you need to be your unapologetic self Easier said than done Because as you said Simon, it gets exhausting.

It gets exhausting when you are putting on a front Because someone is always watching and if you want to be, you know, mr. Positive as you probably know quick That's what people expect from you they expect you to always be positive and happy and god forbid if one day you're feeling down and If you share that well, whoa, you can't share that your mr. Positive You know what?

There's power in showing that insecurity and it's power showing vulnerability and I'm sure you already know that I'm speaking to the choir But that was my two cents from you son That that so that's the interesting part from what you said So basically he finished off with to be success to be successful. You need to be yourself Otherwise people will see through it.

So that was the finishing line to he had the questions about Culture and what does it look like and how do I need to act?

So he started with consciously, you know, you have to change yourself for the work environment But then he gets into the point Well, what does it look like for me to be myself in success and then he gets to the last part to say well Actually in the end of the day so to be successful in yourself Mm-hmm You need to be able to To be yourself and that's the thing because when then we then we have to get to the point of what is success Is it just what fitting into the office?

Getting your money in and leaving is that success or actually is success just living the life that you were supposed to live in your way and being on the project apologetically yourself and like the way some of me even broke down his his version of Being black in the company where he said actually you have to change yourself or company to fit into environment Similar to you and your clients then he said actually what does it look like if I didn't change that?

What would office culture be like? What would I like to see because he mentioned those things for Zima?

I don't mind having some jerk chicken and rice and peas for lunch in my workplace, you know And then at the same time he got to the point where actually the end of the day I need to be true to myself Because otherwise it's going to be too much for me to handle and too much for me to uphold There's very interesting what I would think about other people see that and I think that's probably why me and maybe even you as well Jordan have taken the route of being our own business owners or being our own brand Because then you make the rules you make the choices and you your success is what you've done that is fulfilling to you Once you can cover the bills You no longer have to take rules and sit and fit yourself in in someone's environment and close your profile.

Yeah It's all about leverage.

Yeah at the beginning you do have to conform You do have to fit in to set rules and regulations and anyone who says oh, no, no, I'm just gonna be myself You're not gonna last long and there are times where you do have to wear the suit You know and anyone who is familiar with Gary Vaynerchuk Gary V You know, he he he is the epitome of having leverage where he now can wear his t-shirts He can swear because people want him so much and he's achieved so much that they don't want him unless he is being his unapologetic self and one thing I've really Felt at ease with Because there are times where I've been kind of at a crossroads.

Oh man What if I do just button up a little bit more is at the end of the day? It isn't fun. I don't want to do it Why do you feel that there is a need that we have to suppress who we are? In order to then be successful because at the end of the day we can still have a commonality with someone But why does that that relationship have to then stop us from being our true selves in this entirety?

Is it a case of being us being ourselves entirely is gonna be a hindrance on that relationship? And why would that be? That's the question. I asked myself as a black person Why would okay? I've got a relationship with you as a businessman. We're doing business together But why would it be a problem that I have an afro or I have dreadlocks or I don't know I listen to reggae music or I like to eat jerk chicken.

Like what that shouldn't I shouldn't have to suppress that in order to have that Relationship with you as a as a co-worker as a businessman and again, it's just it's just a question I have to ask myself and I guess I'm asking you guys as well is do you feel that you have to do that? Is that something that we really have to do or do you do it?

For me to answer that I would say social pressure social pressure in the same way that we've learnt about ourselves and society in Through society is is what is causing us to suppress it even subconsciously Even watching our parents when they when they grew up and how they kind of adapted into the world They kind of they subconsciously pass that down to us And then maybe they they think well actually you do have to kind of change the way you look or maybe you've got a trick like the first things I didn't I learned when I was working was I changed my email address to be by What was it before come on Because my old one, which still exists for spam is jigaboo Gmail comms hit me up Literally was Ruby a black guy my problem my mom first thing she said you won't put your name You can't put that I said, but why she said they he just can't My mom speaks to clients very differently as well compared to how she speaks of family so you so consciously have learned these stuff this these things and Even in but it's understandable.

My my grandparents when they first came here were the what they classed as The people that came from Windrush generation, so they were and it was a time of Segregation and especially in the UK.

So if we people are listening, this is from the UK This is the times of segregation people sitting behind the back of the bus, etc So they passed on what they know about being in the society and just having to conform Especially while they're what their country's solution was a federal country So the best opportunity is to make money was in the UK and other places like that And then my parents are the first generation West Indians, which is the first generation to be born in the UK itself And they also get passed on they learn to be a bit more of themselves But they still have to conform where jobs was people still leaking off of the whole segregation thing from the generation before and now We're in a generation where we are second-generation Caribbean's or we are literally a case where our parents have been born here and we are now born from now We don't know all of that stuff back back behind us However, our parents do and they pass that on to us and the world still kind of does it as well So this is what causes us to make us think we have to kind of put ourselves in that way In addition in this country, you couldn't necessarily say that actually a lot of black people own businesses So even though the people that the kind of population itself has changed the business owners and the people that the The business owners haven't changed They the same people still own the businesses.

So the office culture still carries on and then when we look at we use comparison What is a successful business? We'll look at that business and we'll look at ourselves and we'll be like, well, we're not succeeding So maybe we need to it's like copy. It's like a copy and you think when you copy them, then you'll make it And now things are really shifting in this last few years.

Things are really shifting with that people saying, you know what? Actually, I think I could just be myself and I will find success in the same way and now we're really pushing for people There's a lot more entrepreneurs a lot more business owners a lot of people that are influencers who don't need permission They don't need the gatekeepers what we perceive the gatekeepers.

We are own gatekeepers So that's what I believe is caused such a shift What about you Jordan? For myself I have a time kind of the pole of opposite where I Found myself wanting to be because if you couldn't tell a mixed race that I would be my white part right in the sense that So often and I think all of us can relate in here when you are able to articulate yourself as an ethnic minority We've all had the time.

Oh you speak quite white Right, and if you haven't heard of it, let me break it down Long story short if you are able to articulate yourself You're able to speak partially in that case. You sound like a white person All right, and so for myself, I love education, you know, I love reading. I love learning and so What is it?

You know blackness miss the idea that we're loud Brass, you know, these kind of connotations are attached to the the black body So for myself It was a case of well no one's gonna pick on me because Can't really pick on someone like myself because I can break you down intellectually at least where I came from, right?

I Didn't grow up man other black people So I didn't have that pressure of Being excluded, you know, and then as I've managed to I guess embrace both parts of my heritage You know, I'm I guess educated in both fields that I found myself Wanting to be a man. I don't want to speak a gangster, which I did as a youngster Because I felt like I had to fit in this box.

I came from London moved to Norfolk Came from being the lightest kid in my school being the darkest kid in my county found myself like oh torn That every word that comes out my mouth has to be a slang word when I was in London right because I didn't feel like I Met the stereotype which is ironic because we're talking about moving away from the stereotype As a youngster, I tried to move closer towards it and as I became more comfortable with my authentic self as I realized actually why can't I change the narrative?

No, and so For me, that's what I found was finding acceptance within myself To embrace not having to fit into the stereotype as opposed to Dulling it down because now you see I've got my Najeeb flag in the back African King and behind me over there. I can do both and I think anyone can Jordan if you get your phone out, we'll play your voice note.

Have a listen and then we'll jump back into the conversation, man you know when I was growing up I realized I stood out and I knew I wouldn't stand up for the right reasons and so Now that I'm in the space I am Remembering speeding coach. No one looks like me.

There's no 23 year old Mixed-race British lad teaching speeding memory training to 60 year old white corporate partners at Deloitte now What I found when I started was even as a youngster people would often say, oh wow You speak white and what they meant by that was I was able to articulate myself What's interesting is we attach I guess a racial stereotype to certain attributes EG the ability to articulate yourself as a white trait and As much as I infuriated me I played to that I played up to them I'm gonna attend events where I speak in it and say I'd be grabbing a coffee A lot of times people thought I was working at the event naturally so because people do judge a book by its cover and It always shocked him and I was always felt a little smug you know, I'm petty when I'd get up on stage as the keynote speaker and they didn't know that and so what I've now learned and accepted is people judge a book by its cover and The reason why I win in my industry is because I am different What makes you different makes you win makes you win Has there ever been a situation because I'm assuming maybe you've you've done work before is business is you you as a business Don't exist your first job or have you worked in any other field where you thought to yourself?

Okay, I have to present myself in a certain way where I can't be as black as I've acted in the past because when we've talked About yeah I wanted to be this person and I wanted to do the slang at one point and I wanted to identify myself as this Did you find that was a hindrance for you in any way when it came into work?

For example, you know, what's funny is my most recent client who I do some consultancy work with I was like, okay Yeah, there's some office rules. I legit cuz I was like I've never really come into an office and help that team I means that I just need to be John Harry. I mean what I see on Instagram I want you to do that here. I just come in film actor for Okay, cool.

So I've been blessed that growing up in a little village in Norfolk My first job was as a paperboy That could be as black as I want back in TI's new album Then working as a waiter in the local pub Where once again Pete, you know, I of course I stand out once again being in a village full of white people.

So You know, I already know what they think and so there's moments where and this is actually quite an interesting caveat driving around almost every day I'm cautious of I Know, of course, I like my music loud man, I know the stereotype and I also know the area I live in right and so it's contextual and so There were moments where working as a waiter or whatever.

Yeah, there's moments one like ah, and they're not gonna get this They don't get this joke.

I feel that's just social interaction full stop and so That was probably my last ever official job since then I've done kind of freelance work here in there Where it's all being my personality has got me into that role They've been fortunate enough where I've been allowed to explore who is John Harry, which is changing every day Because the only reason we all know who we are because we wake up with a memory of who we were yesterday Right, so the idea of identity of self of Individuality Arguably doesn't exist Only reason why Simon, you know to act a certain type of way because you wake up in the morning Somehow after being unconscious for eight hours Thank God you've woken up and you remember a certain amount of your life that then dictates how you approach the day moving forward And so for myself, that's how I take it It's okay what context am I in do I need to turn my music down a little bit because I wouldn't say it's a black Or white thing.

I would say arguably it's a contextual thing. It's a manners It's not no.

No, I'm gonna be my unapologetic black self It's actually having a little bit of respect for the people around you who might not want to listen to loud music Especially aren't familiar with some of the lyrics And I understand that So in work I can't quite relate but in terms of social environment, yeah, there's been times where Like any self-respecting individual would read the situation, but this isn't the right time It's a it's a statement a life statement in itself as to how people can kind of approach Being successful in life because again if we went back to the original question, what is success?

If you can just be mindful of everything that you do then you will know if you're going in the right direction Is this right for you? Actually? I don't want to I don't I don't feel like I'm a gangster on wood or anything like that Maybe I don't want to wear Maybe I like wearing suits actually and it doesn't make me less black or not That's just what I like to do.

So you just need to be mindful of yourself I'm on the basis that I do want to ask these both both of you a question though Have you can you think of a time in your workplace where you've you've you know that there was a time that you had to suppress Yourself you couldn't be you couldn't be your or they either couldn't say anything Oh, could you definitely understand it or you just you just have to suppress your blackness in the sense you could call it.

I Would say no But only reason I say no is because again when you're talking about blackness is subjective as well Everyone has their own definition of what blackness is for one And then when I say have I suppressed my blackness because I define it in my own way I'm gonna say no where someone else may see it and be like, yeah, well you have as you said, you're a sellout You've done this but in my experience from the only time I've really Suppressed myself is when I'm trying to reflect myself in the best possible light as a professional And that's what I said in my voice note.

It's about me You know, you know the people that you're talking to to you know The environment you're in and you know how to present yourself So it's not a case of saying well, I'm presenting myself as a black man or not It's I'm just presenting myself as the expert as a professional with someone that you can trust So it's not to say that I'm gonna cut my hair because I've got dreadlocks I've got cut my hair now, but it's like well, I'm gonna speak to you in a certain way Just like Jordan said I'm gonna articulate my words in a certain way.

I'm gonna present myself So in what by me doing that when I'm speaking to say for example the CEO in my company or my manager I'm not suppressing my blackness I'm just making sure that I reflect myself in the best possible way so we can have a very clear-cut conversation That's how I see it Again, I'm gonna be that annoying guest who's that I can't answer I'm gonna have to go with the other side, which is I've had and I'm just gonna sound so conscientious where once again using convoluted words where I have to make sure that I'm not weird where I almost have Suppress my geekiness, right?

I always say I'm a geek by accident And you know, I never thought I'd be speaking and reading what I do and having meetings the way I do Because once again, I have two sides, you know I'm happy to go on the record, you know the stereotype of you know, I my girlfriend's Latina, you know, I do love women I love Latinas That was like my dream woman, you know, thank God I worked my arse off and now But the idea is you know, I lived up to all these days up, you know, I love women, you know I love party in but I also love to have these high intellectual conversations that I find I can only have a few individuals People would often look at me and think oh he's gonna be a blast.

He's gonna be relaxed in a work environment, especially And then they're like and I'm having to be like, oh man, I really don't even be talking about I want to talk about You know, what is the meaning of life? So I was on the opposite side where? People expected me to give them, you know, the knuckle bump people expected me the amount of time to be like, oh, did you see?

Usain Bolt one last night, you know, they'll bring up some any black related incident And I've been like, no I was watching Jordan Peterson on YouTube, you know You don't know join Peterson. He's a lecturer to psychologists.

So, you know, I Found myself so many times having to suppress guess yeah, my authentic self and The only reason I know it's my authentic self I guess it's kind of like a titbit for anyone listening to try to live one day as if someone is watching you 24-7 I live one day like someone is watching you every second the whole day Now I'm not saying that you'll improve your life massively if you act like that However, there's this lighthouse effect that we can see the light hit us But we can't see who's shining the light and we all change differently when you know, we know someone's watching so for myself Yeah, I'm yet to suppress my blackness if anything I need to live up to a little bit more by the sounds of things I like that and I recently which is funny I'm really in both sides of you as well because the side of it is that You do have a Kind of your priority is to present yourself the best especially because I'm actually a web developer So I mean the similar creative industry where you have to be able to articulate yourself and explain the things are seen as a black Box everybody and for people to understand so you have to be able to speak in the right way That people can absorb it Otherwise if you have if you create a culture barrier in front of the thing that you're explaining which is already a black box You're just gonna make it really difficult You can't set it to your set it to your client or whoever it is that you're trying to speak to in addition now the interesting part of what you said like what resonate was the conversations you have with your colleagues is different so I just came from a job myself where Well all the jobs I've had they've always had this pop culture and Like this drinking culture and sports and other things and then they took my work and the money that you're gonna get paid and I'm just like and I'm like how long do you think you're gonna do this for like do you see yourself doing anything better than this does this job actually?

fulfill fulfilling to you You've said that you've had to maybe switch the way you talk to people maybe maybe not pass those questions because of the Questions because of the people that they are but actually I've just been like I'm gonna ask it anyway because I need some entertainment I don't need to have someone that's gonna stimulate me, but I mean I can't you mean you went through the world burn So tell me how is your relationship back home I've tested those conversations.

So, you know some colleagues that they were taking it, but you know I haven't thought about that, but you know what? Here's my input and then some people do you say it to and they like I don't really think about that So what about that football and I just have to walk away when they are so do you want to go to the pub? I said no, I'm good.

I'm gonna go home is are you always turning it down as a yeah, and then today I'm still gonna keep turning it down Nothing's changed So I like the I like this this conversation is yet again It's just being very mindful and realizing what actions have I taken and what why has it brought us to where we are today?

Because we're on this podcast we are the people we are today because of these small decisions as you said you take day by day And when you do all of these is account or compound effect every single small decision you make Act as if you've been watched it amounts to something really really long How many decisions are you making per day that you are not being yourself and what would that compound to in the future?

Nice. All right question time question time. Let's go. Let me pull one up So in my workplace, this is from one of our listeners in my workplace I've often felt it's difficult to progress especially when my manager or co-workers are black because they seem to Make me work twice as hard. Now. Why do you think this is the question?

Why do you think that black people feel the need to have to compete in a workplace and have you ever experienced that? Every day Every day every day. I know Like I said, people judge a book by its cover. I use it as fuel.

I use it as fuel that as much as being of color can go against us I Shift that and I think as she goes for us the fact that other black people in a decision-making role I'm more likely to reach out to me than the 40 50 year old white dude or Jim quick who's hanging out with celebrities and you know, he's of age and he's got his PhD It's actually I like this dude who is just a joker on his IG Who replies to me ASAP Rocky who admits when he's got stuff wrong?

Because that's it and you that's what you need I don't know the listener of course, but you need to get out your head that this is working against me and actually see We actually have positive discrimination and I would argue we you know, there's a black community and I see it from both ends Why people have no loyalty to their own?

I'm gonna be the first to say that Will till you don't believe me if us three saw a fight on the street right now.

There's a black person white person We don't know what's happened whose side we take him Arguably we have a sense of community Now that community has come of course through hardship, but we should be proud of that community So that's what I believe is yes, we have to work harder, but I promise you whoever's listening We all want to help each other. We want to lift each other.

I'm on this platform Arguably because I am of color There's positive discrimination. We need to stop looking at negative discrimination.

We actually need to look at all the doors that do open for us Because of the color of our skin It's interesting because the whole work harder thing is something that we seem to cry about a lot You know what some people actually do seem to live it as well where they have actually had studies where they've done tests where literally people are placed in the the same position with the same qualifications send the same TV off and they still don't get accepted and you're like What just because I'm a different color and so there is a level of you having to work a little bit harder and Be accepted in a sense and there is a level of this competition you have Because you've been able to because you've recognized that actually there is a Privilege only for other people that you're realizing.

Okay, so when we do get into the environment you now seem to have a level of aggression to you like a Inside of you and you can't just get rid of it because actually you have to get you to do a lot to get in first place So I really do get understand why they've said that but even for me, I never when my parents brought me up The people in my school so when I what our school was 95% black people in a sense and every time I used to fail a test or an exam They were always saying actually I was he was I all but they but the rest of my class felt They said but you're not the rest of your class You're you you're nobody else and my class was all black people So it's not to say it was that because it was white people nothing is like, you know the rest of your class And that's not in my head.

It was over and over and over and over Into the world the real world in society It was like regardless of if this person is a manager has ten years behind them regardless if he's a white person regardless If this person runs a company you if somebody is doing it in this world and they human beings you can do it, too regardless of Everything and need it be and if you work hard and this person rejects you and this person rejects you You're gonna find a person that will accept you and will know who you are And that's where you want to be You don't want to be in the environment where you're not accepting you had to work twice as hard you want to be in The environment where you are accepted and you didn't have to work twice as hard You just had to be accepted for what exactly you did and that that's all that matters So it's a case where you don't you believe in yourself and you don't give up on yourself to believe that everyone's against you As we said, there's positive discrimination.

We're actually we're going to discriminate on you because you are really good at what you do So we're going to discriminate and say you deserve this By your color actually you did this so actually yeah, we may have a there may be a lot of block doors and maybe more block doors than other people However, when you deserve it from the right people then that's where you need to be Because he's better for you to be in an environment where you can be yourself and it is to be an environment where you can't Be yourself or otherwise you lose yourself trying to be in there Do we as black men share enough in terms of succeeding in the workplace or Do we focus on our own in?

Advancements and why do you think that is?

For us and I say us because it's black men I Think it comes back to that point where We Worked goddamn hard for and we see it all in the back videos, you know, this culture is of course Emulated because every medium, you know, we work hard and we want people to see that we have worked hard now You arguably do see a lot of these rappers and we'll just use them as a content male rappers again Show that they brought their boys up if anything now.

It's a big brag that you say Hey, look, I brought my family up with me. I brought my boys up with me. They all got rollies, right? I Arguably would say there's an overcompensation For black men even myself. I'm guilty of it my business partner. He's also mixed race He's also my boy everyone in my team Are Friends of mine, you know, so they're all qualified at their job But I'd rather hire them than someone.

I don't know. I'd rather create my own ecosystem And keep my people rich and healthy happy as opposed to paying someone else Now I'm very What would be the one I'm very rash and showing people we potentially overcompensate? showing that We are helping everyone else around us But if we are winning it looks bad on us that we're winning and no one else is winning It's that stereotype of you've left people behind.

I Believe it is actually generational I believe our previous generation was actually in a case where black people weren't bribing with each other They were pushing each other.

Actually, they were just trying to get out of the hood They were trying to leave the hood So and obviously if he was in certain places Which actually did have a lot of crime in the UK such as we know that he places in London Which is like Hackney Brixton, they they call it gentrification where people actually was able to stay in the hood and By their properties, they never did and they left instead without their people But because a lot of black people always think that they decide I go Yeah, they put they were put against each other So they said they actually made us think that we did have to fight each other to get out of it However, the new generation doesn't have the same thing with social media being so connected You'll realize and actually we are all bringing each other up and we actually can support each other from a distance now And that's what's changing the game Accepting yourself and who you want to be would then kind of branch off and leak into other people from your children your friends your colleagues your family members and Even the people you employ and what business you create?

What are you what stamp are you pointing to what what kind of thing are you standing for but who you stand for is being Yourself because being yourself has actually as you started the whole podcast Being yourself is your superpower basically But for everybody else they don't see that being like somebody else is their superpower because that's how a lot of the previous Generations used to think but actually when we realize and we get to when we come into stuff like fulfillment and not what success looks Like what real success feels like inside of you you start to realize actually as Simon goes back we connect in order dots as Simon says About to bring it back for you people to be successful.

You need to be yourself. Otherwise people will see through it Beautiful Craig, do you want to jump on to the last question? Oh Sorry that the question the it so I just copied and pasted the person's English How can I not be labeled as a sellout space again? So, how can you not be perceived as a sellout well to be fair That's not that's not your choice.

It's down to them They're the one that's gonna take that perception and say that you are sitting out So I think that you can only do what you can Do for yourself and be the best that you can be because at the end of the day No matter what you do. Someone may always consider you to be a sellout. That's all based on perception So the way I would see that question is how do I not be perceived as a sellout?

I don't think that's even possible because that's down to your thoughts. That's not down to mine I can't have any control over that. So that's my quick answer to that. Is that well I Can only be who I can be and if I don't consider myself a sellout, then who are you to tell me that I am? That's your perception.

That's your thought and that's the thing that you have to live with but I don't have to live with that I don't have to live with being a seller. That's your opinion. That's not mine. So that's my quick answer.

I don't Jordan Without knowing listeners, it's very difficult, of course to understand where this question stems from Arguably not just the person who asked a question anyone who's listening even ourselves if you think you're selling out I Guess the brush way to put it that sounds like a you problem and let me now butter it It sounds like there's some sort of insecurity going on within your own psyche where you believe that certain actions you're doing is Our man, I'm doing it for the culture our man.

I'm wearing the african pendant which actually lost mine annoyingly my african pendant, right?

Because that's what I should do and I'll be accepted by others and actually maybe I'm doing it too much like that That is I would only imagine that's the full process of someone who questions if they're selling out There's a lot of underlining issues there which you need to address You need to address because it sounds like you're not comfortable in what you're doing and if you have to question and I always say This I love this if I ever do something.

I'm not with my mom mind if I did this then I shouldn't do it And I think that's my short answer if you think you're selling out you are and you should stop doing what you're doing But that's on you I don't believe you can impose that upon anyone else Yeah, so obviously, thank you very much for sending in those questions guys I know we probably didn't get to all of the questions that were sent in but we will try our best to Address these on our socials as well.

Craig. I don't know if you want to start first. What would be your food before? You're gonna take I'm gonna I'm gonna say that being yourself is your superpower That is the most fulfilling that is the most fulfilling life that you will ever live is when you can learn to be yourself And that's the best thing you can do for yourself.

And the rest of the world is be you because that's where you was made to be Um, I would say That if you aren't looking to improve yourself every single day Then you need to stop what you're doing be present because I Don't really believe from the readings and the people that I've met with achieved things that I can only dream of having The fact that they've reached that level if you want to reach a level of course They're constantly looking at understanding themselves better and understanding how can they be better for other people and only comes from consistent and more precisely Effective input each and every single day.

So enjoy the process because we spend most of our time there Beautiful beautiful man. Geez. How do I finish with that? Come on?

Okay No, I mean I can only reiterate what you guys have already said to be fair like you've you've said it perfectly already I think again, it's about authenticity and being yourself and again what we establish from that question that we spoke about at the end is that You're not thinking about other people's perception think about being true to yourself And then again when we're looking at being successful, I Believe that you can only be successful by being your true self anyway so a hundred percent to all our listeners and what I'll take away from that is just be yourself and Success will come For you guys listening this platform isn't just about us talking to you It's about you guys getting involved obviously asking questions and continuing the conversation So make sure you guys open up to us about your views and your experiences if you've enjoyed the podcast Please like share to promote great health and well-being Obviously, we can't get better if we don't encourage each other to talk about what's on our mind So remember to follow us stay up to date with all our new content and our live events because we do live events on Instagram As well.

Thank you guys for listening. Thank you Jordan. Thank you Craig. It was a wonderful conversation and thank you guys