Ep7 | What Am I Really Afraid Of? (Ft Denzil)

it's important that you don't let those fears dwell in your mind too much because otherwise you won't be able to move forward and I think it's important that you understand in yourself what you really are afraid of so that you can tackle it because if you don't understand why you're really scared of something you'll never be able to overcome it. Hey everybody, I hope you're all doing well.

Welcome to Talking To My Thoughts where we have open honest and raw conversations about, well, our thoughts. The topics will range from anxiety, life goals, relationship, money, work, everything that runs through our head so you know the possibilities are endless. You're here with Craig Riviere aka Mr Positive. You're here with SJ and Denzel aka Denz create. What was that intro, bro? That was a bit mad.

Anyway, I don't know why you keep saying SJ as well, man. Don't make people change how you're supposed to be. Anyway, let's get into it. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. I always just refer to your solution, Simon. There you go. I say life's concern. See, that's what I'm saying. There's just confusion all over, bro. Slow peeps, slow peeps. We'll get to it. So funny enough, today is about something a bit tougher.

So today we're talking about deepest fears. Oh, chilly chilly. I want you to think about what is your deepest fears as well actually. Like some people don't really kind of get into that sometimes but for me that's like a casual conversation thing. Like what is fear? What was that doing this sometimes? Maybe if you don't know what it means, Wikipedia is going to be our place to go.

Never do it through urban dictionary. So fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions. That's the main part of what it talks about.

That's quite interesting actually because they're already talking about chemicals and real fear in a physical sense but some of the fear that we create in our heads don't even exist, funny enough, but we're going to get straight into that anyway. What do you think about fear anyway? I think fear is a figment of your imagination in certain times.

A lot of it's strange because a lot of fear, like what I almost immediately think of is like a fear of like for me it's like okay I've got a fear of spiders or something. Like what am I really afraid of? Like I just don't like them in it. Don't come next to me with no spider. I don't like no spider. It's just part of my imagination that if you bring that next to me I'm going to die or something.

I don't know it's crazy but fear is almost like something that you fix it in your mind. It's going to happen without it even happening so you're just making it up. That's how I picture fear to be. I think the key word is fixated. A fixation of something and the more you fixate on something the deeper you get scared of it for some reason. I don't know why it works that way but for me I think fear comes in two things.

I think for me it comes in future and the past. So sometimes when we look into the future we're fearful of stuff happening even though it hasn't happened yet and sometimes when you're looking back to the past you've been through an experience and now you're kind of scarred so you're scared that that might happen again at some point. So for me that's how my fears work.

It's either looking towards the future or looking towards the past. I like that but we won't give away enough too much. As you know in talking to my thoughts we always share literally us talking to our thoughts. We try to have a pre-recording of us speaking to ourselves because how we speak to ourselves is very different to how we speak to others.

So basically your pre-recording from today will be me and Denzel and you will basically be able to hear what our thoughts are about our deepest fears. If you resonate whichever one it is yeah take a close listen and we'll be sharing what we think about it. So let me kick off with Denzel today. Go ahead my man. Deepest fears.

I guess for me deepest fears has probably bounced around a few things and I'd probably say one of the ones that stand out for me is definitely not fulfilling my potential. I feel like God has blessed me in a way where you know I'm blessed enough to have all my faculties in place. I'm blessed enough to currently have good enough health.

I'm blessed enough to have amazing friends and people around me and an amazing mother as well. So cool he's taking things away at the same time but he's also left me with more than enough reason why I should be able to reach my full potential and not being able to do that in whatever capacity that actually means would be upsetting to me.

Basically I don't want to waste and I don't want to waste what I've been blessed with. Waste what I've been put in a position to be able to achieve so I work hard to the point sometimes I kill myself.

But yeah that would be scary to think that he's allowed he's put me in a position and I've just said basically I don't really care and I feel like we're kind of we're here to be the best kind of versions of ourselves we can be but that's up to us.

There's people that I've been in way worse positions than me way difficult positions you know illnesses everything like from early in their in their life and they've still found a way they've still pushed through this door yeah I mean they still had to drive and for me a fear would be not fulfilling that not fulfilling whatever he's probably here to do so.

And then another fear would be I'd say probably losing my mama she's the only parent left that I have so you know but I don't want to dwell on those things not really but in the back of my mind that's always been since obviously when I was young my dad passed away that was always a thing yeah so I think those two are the things that really sometimes play on my mind but you can't dwell on things like that man you have to just push through in it and be positive about interesting.

You want me to pick up? No I can say a couple of things so obviously it's hard to express what your deepest fears are because that shows you your most vulnerable form I guess and it shows it's not necessarily a weakness but you are exposing yourself in a way that you wouldn't normally do by expressing your deepest fears so obviously I appreciate that you've you've done that for us today.

One thing I picked up on is that even at the end as you was coming to kind of resolve your thoughts you was almost thinking okay well I acknowledge that these are my fears but I can't dwell on them and I can't let that consume me and I can't let that be a reason why you you can't move forward and I think that's important that's an important thing for other people to take away is that when we was obviously talking about it originally fear is just obviously something that's built up in your mind and it can get to a point where it does consume you and it's important that you don't let those fears dwell in your mind too much because otherwise you won't be able to move forward and I think it's important that you understand in yourself what you really are afraid of so that you can tackle it because if you don't understand why you're really scared of something you'll never be able to overcome it that's why I think yeah I think there's some some things you you can't actually tackle because some things are not really in your then up to you sort of like stuff like that stuff like life and death yeah like um the other one was not fulfilling potential but then also that's not always up to you as well I mean you can do the best you can while you're here but then you could pass away tomorrow and in your mind you but that's not up to you you get it so in a sense it's weird because those things I'm afraid of actually I'm not in my control I like to anything that's in my control I try not to be afraid of because I feel like we do we all have the power to change no matter how little we may think of ourselves that that that period of time if it's in our control to do something we can tackle it we can fix it but it's it's funny that the things I'm most afraid of actually I have no control over so that's why it's probably more scary to me because I actually don't I can't turn around to say it today like tomorrow say I'm gonna live to like hey I'm gonna accomplish everything you get me like I can't do that so yeah isn't that always the case though just thinking about it isn't always well it may not be but I'm just thinking about it our deepest fears are the things that we can't control well the things that we're most afraid of are the things that we have no power oh I see what you're saying lack of control is is pretty much our fear and that's why we there's multiple pieces to interject in that let's let's start with that part the lack of control is probably some of our deepest fears in all honesty and this is what makes us do crazy things which is the reason why it's necessary for you to understand your fear because if you don't understand your fear you'll start to make actions that are to fight against the fear of what you're you can't control in the first place so actually you're fighting against nothing similar to how you started in the beginning saying that it's a figment of your imagination and the other part of it that the particular piece to pick up is fear worry anxiety lives in the past and the future two times that you cannot control the past is gone and cannot be changed and the future doesn't even exist he wasn't given the skill to fortune tell he was never going to be able to know exactly what was going to happen so you can't prepare for it and you can't change what's already happened so actually if you were to just be again the whole thing about being very present where's the fear that right now I have my mom and dad right now I have my friends right now I'm in a good relationship or good a decent relationship or I'm in a good job do I really need to spend time and my energy fearing something that has um isn't going to happen it hasn't happened yet or maybe you're in a good relationship he's oh I just hope that it doesn't turn out the way that the last one was now you're making past take over or you go to the future and says oh man when I'm gonna get married I hope I'm ready now you're making this one take over now you'll start to if you if you make those take over you'll start to change how who you're doing what you're doing in the present moment you start saying you know what I'm gonna start doing some like start bringing her flowers and all stuff but can you keep up bringing her flowers all the time you could have just kept going it was fine everything was fine when he was in that moment so why is it now that you're thinking about past and future now you're thinking about all these other pieces so yeah there's a very close part about all the things that you cannot control which is especially in the past and future it's going to cause you to get a bit uneasy and it's going to make you do things a bit crazy you know what I'm saying particularly about the stuff that you picked up um that mentioned your deepest fears um I picked up for like reaching your full potential comparison to other people and then your parents the full potential one deepest fear about reaching full potential I think we better let's go that that fear if anything I was scared of death because of that I was scared of death because we always think we imagine ourselves at a certain age and we've we've accomplished a lot of things and not until I can let go of the expectation as to who I believe I was supposed to become was I able to stop seeing that death is actually something that's scary if you think of it death comes whenever it wants to come you understand what I'm saying you can't control that we don't know when it will happen um God forbid any anytime soon but the biggest fear is not death itself but what you don't get to do before you die regret there we go great yeah but again God blesses us with a day every single day to just pick up yourself live your life and do the most that you can if you say that you've done everything you can today what else is there there's nothing more there's nothing more of yourself this potential thing is again something that we doesn't exist yet doesn't the potential of who like who told you you're going to be this person you just assume that you are because you're fabricating it and then it'll take too long but in the sense of the parents part I've been real good at fear it's a piece of us it's a massive piece of us you know I'm saying unfortunately you had you had lost your dad and that was probably obviously a difficult time for you and then now you have away one more parent like raw I just want to just need to put everything into them now you understand what I'm saying and it's a beautiful thing because as you said face your fear Simon said face your fear and that is um when you can do that it means that actually I don't need to make this fear control me and bring me down actually I can make it power me and say you know what I've got all this time I got this energy let me put more into mom and do as much as I can give more not because I'm trying to accomplish like to compensate for anything but because I have the ability to so there's this thing about facing it but we'll get straight into the next one which is gonna be a voice recording from me and we ain't gonna waste no time my deepest fear what a question that one isn't it instantly when I think about deepest fears I actually think about losing some of my loved ones I think that's like quite a common one but one of them is losing my loved ones my parents especially they're literally like my my best friends my heart my soul my my like my everything like some people don't have their parents in their life some people lost their parents along the way and to me like despite how positive I can be sometimes I lost them I don't even know what I'll do where I'll be who I'll be I don't know if I could still be Craig Mr.

Positive or whatever it is yeah my deepest fear is definitely losing my parent it's a hard one to swallow hard one to adjust to a hard one to to deal with but you have to right you always have to just keep moving on that's what I tell other people I don't tell them move on I tell them to absorb it feel it but then use it use that use that pain use that energy that you have and don't think of them just in death but think of them about their life how they impacted you things that they taught you keep it going they'd want you to be happy right right that one is a hard one to swallow my deepest fears my fears used to be about not reaching where I think I'm supposed to be it'd be marriage or having family and kids like I'm my only child you know what I'm saying like I want to have some kids quite a big family as well funny coming from someone that's the only child I never actually wished for any brothers and sisters but I do want my own family extend the family tree on my side you know I do fear dying too early well what is too early I don't know when my time is god forbid it's any time sooner than when I have kids but I can't take away the fact that it is a fear obviously I'm being very raw with myself very honest this is something that comes up in my head and it is a fear we move you know it's not you don't dwell on the things you don't do it on the future you don't do it on the past you just live as present as you can and that's the more the reason why you just need to not live your life with restrictions life is too short sometimes to be worrying and having fear or trying to control or change the past you're wasting your energy you deserve to give yourself 100 of yourself you deserve to allow yourself to fall in love to fall into relationships and friendships and with other people you deserve to give yourself that which is why it's always necessary for you to be very present and live very openly great you know that right be present be open be loving don't be don't act like you have to do everything on your own when you can do that you don't have to live with any fears you wake up you thank god for where you are what you've been given and another blessed day and energy you go to sleep and tell god i gave you everything i had so i hope you did i did you proud thank you it's interesting there's very there's a lot of similar things that come up there it almost they almost mirrored each other in the way that even the way you said it as well the first things you talked about was like loss and then you're talking about you being a bit more present and then not dwelling on it as well it's interesting how we have those similar fears especially when it comes to losing people around us and when you're talking about not fulfilling your potential as well my i mean i just want to chuck in my little bit there as well actually but i i probably have those similar fears but more so my deepest fear isn't about having any loss externally anyway but being being lost within myself and not being accepted or being relevant essentially we're all thinking about the end game where we pass away what did we fulfill what happened and my fear is that it's going to come to a point where whether i pass away today tomorrow in 20 years time i did nothing that was relevant and no one cares and everyone just moves on they have a funeral bye bye and they just forget that's the that's that's the path for that one you're telling me that i'm like so it's so deep i just got it for me it's like you're brought into this world yeah there's no guarantee that you're gonna you can't you're not gonna live forever yeah so you got to think about your purpose what are you doing on this earth while you're here if imagine it comes to a point where you live and you die and it's almost like you was non-existent what was the point of you being born that's my that's my fear that's my fear that's actually that i went through all of this time being on this earth died and i and nothing happened but everyone just kept moving on with their life who was that guy again what was his name no talking about me oh it's simon sign what oh yeah no yeah i just i just want to quickly interject why you just said that i mean that's it's so mad that you said that yeah because i'm just like oh that is so deep and actually i do i really do think i think i think that's a lot of our fears as well i think that's also the same reason we both said about that he was like you know i want to have a family because i'm gonna mean stuff to more people as well and i said i want to accomplish like i want to do what god laid out for me because that will impact and leave something behind when i leave that would that would mean my my purpose was fulfilled and stuff like that it's it's mad the it's mad the way you said it because i also on the flip side i also think you already you already do mean a lot of people who are actually here now currently now your missus your kids your friends your family i think so i really i really think in that sense you it's something that i think we we all don't necessarily need to worry about again as going back to say it's a fabrication isn't it because if you if you ask you know any of those people how much does Simon mean to you he means the world to me he means everything to me so if he was to you know there's no wood here for me to touch so i'm not gonna say anything but if the unfortunate case of events happen i don't ever think that's that actually is it should be a fear and i don't think it should be fair for all of us because i feel like we all mean probably the world to somebody or some people so but yeah it's still it's mad because even though i'm saying that now i think the exact same yeah i think the exact same issue yeah i've had that same kind of thought as well um kind of got past it though i think it's time as people you start to allow people to just share their thoughts about how you change their day their world whatever it is i'll give you two pieces on that so the first piece is obviously because i know Simon personally family's connected and things like that i've been around him when he's with his family and the whole family and especially Simon is very family oriented in itself so again as Denzel said if you start your family members boom like you know if i was to go would you miss me they'll be like are you dumb fam yeah yeah like you've done a lot and your family orientations the love is is is limitless that you've given to your family and the stuff that you do in the way you bring your friends to get in the stuff that you interject and the positivity energy etc now then then you went on to the other part where you say about fabrication now this again finding how we i didn't think that fear was going to be related to fabrication for this whole podcast but actually this is the this is what fear is the fabrication of the fact of what we think we're supposed to be doing in this world because the reason why we think that we're not making an impact or doing something again is because of comparison because if it was just you and your family and you just living it up and loving stuff that you didn't see no social media media or any other families or any other people you wouldn't be saying that you're comparing it to what other people are doing impacts people are making people the way that people are interjecting because if you just say oh do i do everything for my family you'll probably say yeah you give it from everything today you can to your kids yeah everything's due to your parents yeah what more is there you understand so this is the this is that that case and i even i recognize that myself this is why i told you in the end of the thing i just said god i just thank god for waking me up and giving me the energy i have and if i can say at the end of the day that i used everything i had to the best of my ability so this thing about the whole fear fabrication is so true to me like you there's there's cases where you've changed people's world your your family or your kids and stuff like that but the key part i want to tell people is that often we want to be in this world and we want to change the world because we see a lot of people doing great things and a lot of doing opening crazy doors and all stuff like that but if you was simply to able to give yourself completely to even one person you don't know how that much that will change their world we're too busy trying to change the entire world but it actually just starts with one person neither be your child one friend that asks you for help being present with your parents saying you know what today i'm going to spend time with you today i'm going to be with you that changes everything for them you don't know how that kind of ripple affects onto their day and then it was affected onto their week and then they they take this same good mood and they bring it onto their colleagues then they start talking to their friend and then all of a sudden if you was actually to see where your energy went from the origin of you to how many people it went you actually realize raw i've actually reached corners of the world that we i didn't even imagine but just because we don't see it in photography and all these social media and all the stuff like that we just don't think we're changing anything but we are changing something if we can just simply be ourselves completely and be very present with that person right there and reason why i say this i won't go on too long but the reason why i particularly say being present with that person is because there's so many times a friend will say you know i've got a bit of a problem at work or something and then we'll be like well busy we just i don't know we're doing something i don't know we'll think about podcasts is i'll get to you a bit in a bit but the podcast could have waited like it was like it was gonna it was gonna wait for a couple weeks or something like that at that time that person came to you to ask you for help now if you just said you paused it and you said all right i'm listening to you what's going on what's popping then you gave them some reassurance when they went back to work all of a sudden their whole perspective has changed about work they're doing great things again they're doing great work they're helping other people they're sharing that energy with other people just because you was present at that moment not thinking about what you have to do in the future but you said you know what cool i'm gonna give you my time my full attention right here right now that is changing their world which actually changes the world as a ripple effect so and i think that's something that we forget a lot of the time and that's something that i try to i always go back to this whole thing about being present trying to just be in the moment you know so i'm saying just be right there that sometimes you meet your friends and you're too busy taking selfies and stuff and actually you just feel like what's going on with you what's popping what's really happening in your life and those things to do that not only does it help you but it helps them almost knocked over the mic but it helps them you know what i'm saying so yeah that's my that's my take on that that's how i've kind of taken like come away from the i don't i'm not too scared of death anymore and i'm not too scared of um how am i going to change the world especially as me on social media or mr positive it was always like oh how's my videos impacting people how's he going to do this and do like how many people are reaching etc etc but i had videos i posted sometimes the same message in january and i posted the same message in july they didn't say anything in january but in july they needed that so whenever i can just be present and just give up what i have at the time of what i've been given just that's what that's all we had that's all we was brought on this earth to do we don't need to put this kind of fabricated fear of ourselves or what was supposed to be but yeah that's my part i have a quick thing just to say quickly on that is i don't i don't necessarily think fear of death is a bad thing you know because when i was younger and as i said after my dad passed away at that point before that i didn't even think about death but when that happened i didn't go into a state of ramen don't care no more like like i can go out and beef and war anyone like if i if i if i get shanked or whatever if i die i'll go meet my dad you feel me like and i was in a state of that nothingness in terms of like i no longer really was holding on to anything in this in this world i was just like i was fearless of it in a sense but then as i grew up and i grew older and i made connections i made friends i made uh i was doing stuff with myself i ran into opportunities i was taking opportunities i was finding a path um and i was seeing how how much i meant to other people i then it then reversed then i went it kind of went oh no actually i can't leave i don't want to go anywhere like i there's there's things for me here there's things i can impact there's people i can help there's things that i have to do and then i went back into state of actually no you know actually it's not my time yet you know like hey god allow me a little bit longer you know because now i'm in a state of yeah i'm fearful to go because of all these connections i've made because of all these things i'm doing i don't and so when i look at it i'm not necessarily i don't necessarily think it's such a bad thing i actually think to to fear not being here is actually slightly good not to the point it consumes you and like you can't come out of your house because you're like right what if i trip over and bust my head open like not like that but to have a slight feel not going means you're hanging on to something and means you're there's actual energy here and people here or opportunity and things here that you could be in love with and that makes you feel alive and you want to feel alive that much longer and hold on to that i was actually gonna say that you know not in those specific words but i was actually gonna say that fear shouldn't be considered as anything negative i think fear can be used as a tool to help elevate whatever you need to elevate in your life so a lot of times as you as an example of when you was you're fearful of falling over you're fearful of this that fear allows you to then anticipate something and then protect yourself from it so it's not necessarily that fear is consuming you to the point where it's like i can't go outside because i might hurt myself yeah what it's like because of that fear you're then protecting yourself a little bit more and that's almost then stopping you from being as risky as you would be yeah in order to protect yourself yeah so it's not necessarily about negative that fear is okay it's consuming you it's a bad thing because fear can be used as a tool to help you to then move forward with yes good point to bring it right back to the beginning of the podcast wikipedia explains fears a way that we will it gives us like a physical effect now this is something that's built into us so fear is an emotion a real emotion something that is very valid and not something that was supposed to be squandered or ignored because it has real effects when uh i don't know um the zebra sees a lion or something like that they know so my caution go be survive when uh i don't know when the caveman first burned their hand on the first piece of fire they know they shouldn't do that and that gets passed on fear is a level of protection but again perception is everything like okay i got fear about death or i got fear about losing my loved ones that means actually instead of making it consume me and just keep fearing death and like not going up because i don't want to hurt myself actually let's change it on his head and say you know what while i'm on this earth i'm gonna give everything i have do everything i can because they mean that much to me you understand what i'm saying so then when you do on your go on your deathbed you're not going to be like oh my god i'm so sorry that i didn't give you the time i should have and that i should have been so scared to love you you know you just say you just say you know what i love you so much that i gave you everything i had and i'm happy that i did that you understand because sometimes what happens is especially losses it'll just it'll close those off it's like i can't love you because actually that's just gonna i'm just scared to even lose you when you look at death in a different way the other side you know so i'm saying so yeah that's my part to that and we just turn it back to that very quickly i'm not i don't want to take too much time but just as you said that it made me actually think about um fear of relationships you know like when people are like i don't know if i could it's kind of ties into a past podcast that you've done but trust i don't know if i could trust that person or i feel like i'm scared to to get involved with that person maybe through messing up maybe because they might leave me maybe because i've experienced loss before and i don't want to lose them but then you're blocking your blessings because then that fear doesn't allow you to then actually experience love experience you know one of the highest forms of emotion here and i just literally as you just touched on if you flip it on the head it's all about perspective you could actually say well like i haven't experienced loved in the deepest form before so if i just let go and if i just kind of let go of my fears and jump into the deep end no matter if it lasts a year no matter if it lasts six months 10 years 20 years when it comes to your deathbed you could say raw man experience love in the highest form you know like i'm i'm blessed i'm blessed to be able to have have been here and experienced that because some people go through the entire laughing and don't actually experience that so there's that's another thing what's that saying it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all yeah yeah that's the same but that's a tongue-twister i'm glad i'm surprised you got that i was saying it in my head a couple times before i actually said it out loud that is that is yeah it's mad i think that was that's a key part actually i had the screenshot from something i saw and it said um there's there is conditional love and there's unconditional love one limits the mind and the other sets it free mad and the conditional love as you can relate already being fearful doing things that you say now because of fear this fabrication i can't i can't do this i can't go all in actually god or god or you've been blessed with life whatever was was always to go all in it was always 100 so you better be unconditional because then you're going to be really free as you said when you're on your deathbed you said i gave you everything and you could be happy about it be proud about that and they could and they will feel it yeah like they ain't going to be like no you could have given the squeeze a little bit more on your deathbed you know disrespect but yeah they're going to be like now you did and they're going to remember that and you think that's not going to change the world yeah maybe you wasn't on tv maybe wasn't in maybe you only had five people that actually really knew you like that but that five people will take that for the rest of your life into other people and yeah you don't see it but you're not supposed to it's not about your ego getting ticked off like yeah i did the right thing actually you just let you just do what you do so that you are capable of doing and let it take the ripple effects where it needs to go i like that powerful so powerful jeez so yeah let's um i think i gave my little piece on that already of the oh sorry um just because i wrote it down i never got to ask you because we kind of like went to yours then went to simon's right on yeah so one of the big things you touched on about losing your parents and you said i don't know i found this really interesting i don't know if i'll still be craig if i lost them what did you mean by that so for me it's interesting i still hold that fear because as i told i've said in other podcasts before i was very close to my parents oh i'm still close to my parents sorry that the circle of trust is only me and them and also at the same time the things you learn the things you do the attributes the skills everything that you have is and personality is a mixture of them too so when you start to step out of the nest you could say even i stepped on this ages ago when you start to step out the nest and start to have your own beliefs your own culture their own way of doing things um then you start to create a person that's of your own in a sense you have influence from them but it's of your own so when i say that like losing my parents in a sense they are pieces of me like i'm always like half half with them it's inside of me in a sense so if i lost them it just feels like that a piece of me died in a sense like when i think about where my safe haven is my piece is them so it feels like if i don't have that like one of them is missing we could be in the room and you know you just one person's missing and you know you know what that kind of feels like it would just be like a bit of emptiness but then that then it came on to the other part which said but a person always lives you don't think about them in their death of their being gone but you think about them continuing anyway like especially from other past people that have passed away you don't think about their memory and oh they're dead in the ground you think no what did they do what would they be doing what job would they make right now you understand but it doesn't mean that because that fear is that that fear lives in me parents mean a lot to you and it's hard to ever get to a point where you could just say yeah it's fine it's fine and i guess but these things you're not so again the want to even say that it's going to be fine is actually down to the fact of your ego trying to just tick off the box of trying to control what's going to happen in the future but you have no control and you just have to accept that which means again use the energy not to think about the future and prepare yourself for something you can't control be back in the present when you do meet up with every time that they come down to england or every time i go to lusia i'm being very present of them extremely present because i love them that much so you fear the fear that over you losing them take that and then put it into being very present and very in the moment with them and given everything you have over the time that you have yeah cool all right well i guess my food for thought to kind of wrap it up is um kind of something that i stand by i guess and then just understanding that fear shouldn't be negative there is at all there is something that you can use to your advantage and it's okay to be afraid in certain circumstances because i still don't like spiders so me i am but um even that that's something i guess i could overcome if i really wanted to but i just ain't messing with no spiders i'm just like i'm messing with no spiders um but yeah it's a tool that you can use to then help push yourself forward so always think of fear as something which is useful if you're not afraid of something then i almost think that is there something wrong like what are you what is missing that you're not afraid of anything i don't know it makes you think a little bit yeah that's how i feel i think my two cents would be something that probably i knew but i've got to focus on a bit more while being here was perspective like it's of course you can be fearful of something and you're always thinking maybe in the worst case scenario but maybe sometimes you use that fear and flip it and be like why this is what i'm scared of but on the other side of it it hasn't happened i haven't gone through that so right now i'm right today right here today let me use the energy i have um instead of being fearful with it let me use it and actually be positive with it and we go all in as craig said earlier you give 100 it was we're put here to give 100 let me use it that way and see how how it works for me and um you might live a more fuller life rather than a glass half empty sort of life that makes sense so that's their food for thoughts as you know we want to hear from you man what is your deepest fears what is it what what what triggers you sometimes what do you or are you scared of and do you think it lives in the past or the future um and we want to hear it mom in the video voice note text email anything anywhere you want to share it we're here to listen here to respond and maybe even share to other people but thank you again for listening to us hope you enjoyed it it was a pleasure um as you know it's craig revier and mr positive sj it's denzel aka den's creates got it right this time this is talking to my thoughts and we out peace